How to Write Your Own Epitaph

More people are choosing their own epitaph while they're alive. It's a reflective exercise — and a kindness to the family, who won't have to guess what you'd want.

Questions to ask yourself

• What do I want people to remember about me?
• What did I care about most?
• What did I always say?
• How would my closest friends describe me in three words?
• Do I want the tone to be serious, warm or funny?

Simple formulas

• Role + quality: "Loving father, loyal friend."
• A saying: "Don't sweat the small stuff."
• A wish for others: "Be kind."
• A summary: "She loved, and was loved."
• A passion: "Gone fishing."

See three-word epitaphs.

Examples by tone

• Serious: "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course."
• Warm: "Thank you for a wonderful life."
• Funny: "I told you I was sick." — see light-hearted epitaphs.
• Hopeful: "See you later."

Record your wishes

• Write it in your will or pre-need plan — see pre-need headstone planning.
• Tell your family.
• Design the whole stone in the Design Studio and save it.
• Revisit it every few years — your feelings may change.

Talking it over

Sharing your chosen epitaph with family can open warm conversations about memories and values. Some people find it brings comfort to loved ones to know their wishes.

Key Takeaways

• Reflect on what you want people to remember.
• Simple formulas help: role + quality, a saying, a wish.
• Choose a tone that suits you.
• Record your epitaph in your plans and tell family.

Next Step

See epitaph vs obituary and how to write an epitaph.