Epitaph vs Obituary: What's the Difference?

Families often write three tributes after a death: an obituary, a eulogy and, later, an epitaph. They serve different purposes and have very different lengths.

The three compared

Examples

• Obituary: "Margaret Doyle, 86, of Kingston, passed away peacefully on March 3… She is survived by…"
• Eulogy: "Mom's kitchen was never empty. If you walked in, you were fed…"
• Epitaph: "Her kitchen was full, her heart was fuller."

From eulogy to epitaph

A eulogy is often the best source for an epitaph. Read it again and look for:

• A phrase people quoted back to you afterwards.
• A word that sums them up — kind, fearless, faithful.
• A saying of theirs that everyone remembers.

Then shorten it to a single line. See how to write an epitaph.

Timing

The obituary comes within days, the eulogy at the funeral, and the epitaph weeks or months later when the headstone is ordered. There's no rush — many families find the right words only after time has passed.

Key Takeaways

• An obituary announces; a eulogy celebrates; an epitaph remembers.
• Epitaphs are the shortest — a few words or a verse.
• The eulogy is often the best source for an epitaph.
• There's no rush to choose the epitaph.

Next Step

See headstone epitaph ideas and three-word epitaphs.