Creating a Memorial for a Missing Person

When someone goes missing and is never found, families live with a grief that has no clear ending. Some choose, after years or decades, to create a memorial — a place to visit, remember and say their name. There is no right time, and a memorial doesn't mean giving up hope.

A memorial without a burial

A headstone can be placed in a cemetery without a burial; this is called a cenotaph. Many cemeteries allow one in a family plot or a special section. See cenotaph memorials without burial and how to honour a loved one without a grave.

Wording that leaves room for hope

• Always looking for you.
• Missing since 1998. Never forgotten.
• Loved and longed for.
• Wherever you are, you are loved.
• Until you come home.

Many families give only a birth date and "Missing since" with a date, instead of a date of death. See headstone wording when dates are unknown.

Legal steps

In many places a court can declare a missing person legally dead after a set period, often seven years, or sooner when there is strong evidence of death. You don't need a legal declaration to place a cenotaph, but a cemetery may ask questions, so explain the situation openly. Speak to a lawyer about estate matters.

Other ways to remember

• A bench or tree in a place they loved — see memorial bench plaque wording.
• An annual vigil on the day they went missing.
• A garden stone at home — see garden memorial stones.
• Keeping the case visible with police and missing-persons organisations.

Support

Families of missing people often find comfort in groups of others in the same situation. Police victim services, missing-persons charities and grief counsellors can point you to them. A memorial can be one part of finding a way to carry the loss.

Key Takeaways

• A cenotaph headstone needs no burial.
• "Missing since" can replace a death date.
• Legal declarations are separate from a memorial.
• A memorial doesn't mean giving up hope.

Next Step

See cenotaph memorials and memorial for someone lost at sea.